I was already interested in gothic when I was 14, but now, I really dress gothic. I'm interested in all gothic subcultures: romantic gothic, cybergothic, lolita, metal...
I mix up all these style. For me, it's important to have a unique style, to be yourself and to feel comfortable in it. When I dress not like I normally do, I don't feel save. When I do like normal, even if people have comments, I'm still feeling myself.
My favorite kind of music is Industrial, EBM, metal and gothic. In industrial, you have a lot of difference, some songs are more techno, other have more rock influences. I love both. Maybe it sounds strange, but when I was 11-13 years old, I listened to dance, trance, jump and hardcore. I discoverd Industrial when I was 14, the period which jump was in fashion. From then on, I wanted to change myself, I wanted to forget all what's happened in the past. I wanted a new life, and I think it succeeded!
Now, I dress quite extravagant. I have synthetic dreadlocks, wear always black combinded with another color, I wear tons of make-up and I love to wear platforms (however, I only have a pair of newrocks from my boyfriend and now a new pair of lolita boots, but I can't wear these sweeties for school). People don't accept me the way I am, even my parrents doesn't. I'm just myself, and I think it's not forbidden to out your expressions like you want it.
Many people have critics, laugh at me and call me 'Carnaval'. It's absolutely not funny, but you need to be strong!
One of my dreams is to make my own clothes, because first, gothic clothing is verry expensive, and second, I want things that others don't have, I want orriginal things, designed by myself. I'm working on this dream, but everything goes so slow. It feels that I don't have time for making something, however I sit a hole evening lazy in the sofa. The same thing with drawing. I feel guilty about it, especialy to myself.
Maybe one day I'll realy start to make something, not struggling anymore over the how difficult it is, and that I can't do it alone, and that I don't have good fabrics, and that machine is so difficult, and whatever for reasons I find...
TERUG